I’m up to eight scars. Two drain tube scars, one on each breast, one port scar and now three more on my stomach. I obviously haven’t blogged much lately. I didn’t realize how much time I used to have, when my kids were in school and I was taking it easy because I was in daily and weekly treatment. After radiation, I started working, traveling … Continue reading three more scars
Last week, our family enjoyed a whirlwind family road trip. Within less than 24 hours of radiation treatment wrapping up, we packed up a van and headed to Chicago, followed by Nashville, Memphis, and St. Louis. It pains me to admit the last city, because I know so many of my favorite people are in St. Louis and I laid extremely low. Let me explain … Continue reading so now what?
I’ve been sleeping pretty well lately. So well that I’m not really a night owl or an early bird. I used to be a morning person. I believe I will be again. I woke at 5am this morning, realizing I was contorted in such a way that my right arm was totally smashed. One of my concerns since my surgery is that I’ll give myself … Continue reading who am i?
For years, I entertained the idea of having a “Fear Blog.” Nothing serious, just a self-depricating journal of all the random stuff I’m afraid of on the daily. Like, I’m afraid I’m going to stand up and shout the f-word during a church service. I can’t think of any good ones at the moment. I should have at least kept a list. I’m a little … Continue reading f words (y’know, like fear, faith, fighting…)
My youngest is six years old. She is the most expressive when it comes to confusion, fears and grief surrounding the cancer in my body. A few months ago, she drew a picture of herself and me. I was passed out, laying down. She was standing. I was bald. She had hair. A tornado was hovering above us. She was pulling me with a rope … Continue reading when fears are stilled
It’s been a little quieter on the blog. I’ve been jumping back into being me as much as possible. That means loving people, cooking, tackling a project here and there and…finally doing my radiation simulation (it was delayed) AND doing a little physical therapy. Physical therapy has proven to be a little more challenging because of the emotional aspect. It’s a trigger for me. I … Continue reading advocate yo-self
When I was diagnosed last June, a mountain stood before me. Or that’s what I thought. What I didn’t realize is that, I was looking at the first mountain in a range. Just getting through the diagnostic process was a foothill. Then there was the chemo mountain. And then the surgery and…you get the point. To everyone else, it looks like I’m on the … Continue reading the other side of the mountain
I love to escape, even if it’s just in my mind. When times get really tough, I imagine flying away to Bora Bora and living in a grass hut. When pragmatism overshadows fantasy, my mind gets in the car and drives and drives to the southern coast of California. Or if things ever get really bleak, I disappear with the purchase of a bus ticket … Continue reading anywhere but 2015
I’ve heard that before. “A stitch in time saves nine.” I could google the meaning or ponder it for a few minutes. I don’t have time though. At least, I don’t feel like I have time. So much to do before the surgery. Time is running out!!!! That’s why I felt that tightness in my chest this morning when my littlest girl asked if I … Continue reading a stitch in time?
As a follow up to my last post, I’d like to share some thoughts on my “real” face. I’m so glad that I have the right tools to help me blend in. To the inventors of eyeliner, eye brow pencils and wigs, I humbly say thank you. As my friend Priscilla put it, “[It’s nice to] take a public break from cancer.” In no way … Continue reading a tale of two ladies