take me to church

This past Sunday I did the only brave thing I’ve done since the cancer diagnosis. I went to church bald. Or, like nearly bald. Whatever this mangey, salt and pepper thing I’m sporting is, I kinda hate it. But, none of the hat or scarf options looked right with my dress or my face, so I just went “as-is”.

It was my turn to make coffee and prepare communion. I thought that maybe I’d go early and leave asap so I could avoid seeing people. But that would mean avoiding my people; the people I love. On some level, I wanted to protect these people from having to figure out how to react to the weirdness of my new look. I wanted to protect myself from both having to be the pitiful chemo girl and to overlook that my church family had to struggle through playing it cool. I imagined darting eyes during conversations. I thought I would feel uncomfortable stares as I sat in the pew. This would be a morning that I’d have to give lots of grace. Or so I thought.

Dear Church Family,

You were amazing. I wish I was wearing a GoPro so you could see you through my eyes. You high-fived me. You felt my hair (what’s left of it). You affirmed my head shape. You looked me in the eyes. If you stared at my head, I didn’t notice. Honestly, I really wouldn’t have cared, because that would be normal. I have tears as I think of all the grace I ate up on Sunday morning. (And I haven’t even mentioned the sermon, worship and prayer!) It’s always the good stuff that makes me cry the most. You win. And I win, because of you. And we win, because God clearly has blessed us! And we are gonna be alright.

A special nod to the men of Trinity City Church. You guys. You’re not afraid to show affection through a hug or an affirmation of “you look awesome” to the newly bald girl. Most churches, the ladies will usually be nice to ladies, but men get a little uncomfortable. But, you men, you know how to treat the women of Trinity with dignity. Just felt like you needed to know.

Love,

Cancypants

And now a few bald-headed and bare-faced selfies. I should have my cosmetologist license revoked for this indecent exposure! I give a thumbs down to hair loss, but a thumbs up to people being awesome. 

BTW, I know it looks like I still have hair. I do. I will lose it all (my eyebrows included). But, I have less hair than most babies, so I’m calling it bald. 
 

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8 thoughts on “take me to church

  1. You will lose all of it temporarily. And regardless, I’m signing you up to be Jamie Lee’s understudy for the next Activia shoot. Lurv you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jenna, you look BEAUTIFUL!!! I knew you would!!! Thank you for sharing your heart and new look with us! I know this is incredibly hard. I cannot begin to imagine what you’re going through. Your testimony, honesty, sense of humor, and faith are on full display and touching and inspiring so many! God will see you through this and Bless you!! “No weapon formed against you shall remain.”Love you💜

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  3. And yet, still beautiful.
    Sure, I knew you would be because your loveliness has always been more than your hair, and yet, you are still beautiful.

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  4. Yes, Jenna, you are beautiful. Thanks for baring your inside as well as your outside. God is very close to you now and that won’t change in the weeks ahead. He is faithful!

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  5. A couple thoughts:
    *you look really tough, tougher than usual, a good tough, a little like Sarah Connor from Terminator 2, better than Sarah- especially with her 80’s hair…still very good… very pretty… Brent, can I say that?! this is one of those where I keep digging my hole deeper (I should have just had 2 points)
    *my mental image of a GoPro on your head made me laugh
    *that was super brave- I seriously am inspired/challenged/convicted/encouraged.
    -Thanks so much for sharing Ms Pants

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  6. Hi Sister, you look amazing as always and an inspiration to all. I am truly grateful to be able to call you my sister. I will always be here for you and love you more then you know. See you soon. Love you, Laura

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